Talk to Strangers Even When You Don't Travel (Science Says It Will Make You Happier)
When you’re traveling, do you open yourself up to new experiences, including talking to new people? Do you do the same at home, or does talking to strangers suddenly feel a little crazy?
According to science, we’d be living healthier, happier lives if we maintained the sense of openness and adventure we experience while traveling to other places.
On the Postcard Academy podcast, I share what happened when a researcher forced strangers to talk on a train, and play you an audio diary I recorded this summer after a chance encounter on a bus in Croatia changed my life.
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Sometimes, after a long day, we just want a Netflix binge. Those can feel great, and can provide necessary rest for our bodies. But it’s not enough for our souls. We want connection. Even when we don’t think we do.
Did you ever have plans with a friend and they cancel and you get super excited to get this time back to do nothing? We’ve all been there and we think that’s what will make us most happy.
But you’ve probably also experienced a time when you made plans and want to back out because you’re tired, but you don’t back out and then you end up having the time of your life.
We are happier when we feel connected to others, even when we think we’d be happier being alone, keeping our heads down and not talking to anyone. There is research behind this.
The Happiness Lab
Yale Professor Laurie Santos teaches “Psychology and the Good Life,” the most popular course in Yale’s 300-year history. According to Laurie, feelings of loneliness have doubled since the 1980s and 60 percent of college students in the U.S. say they feel very lonely most of the time, the negative health consequences of this are equal to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Laurie created her Yale course to help students make choices that will lead to a happier and more fulfilling life. And she has a new podcast, which I love, called The Happiness Lab podcast, which is part of Malcolm Gladwell’s Pushkin Industries’ podcast company.
On episode four of The Happiness Lab, Laurie talks to behavioral science professor Nick Epley about an experiment he conducted on a train that was usually quiet during rush hour. Nick wanted to know why people never talked to each other, so he recruited passengers to participate in research, breaking them up into three groups:
Group 1 would not talk to anyone
Group 2 would do what they normally did, which for the most part was not talk to anyone
Group 3 would have to talk to their neighbor
Who do you think had the most enjoyable train ride?
By far, group 3 reported having a happier train ride. And not just the person initiating the conversation, but also the train neighbor they were talking to.
And the results were the same for introverts and extroverts, and the experiment was repeated in a bunch of different social scenarios and the results were always the same.
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Won’t you be my neighbor?
If you found this article useful, please share it, and subscribe to the Postcard Academy podcast. Each week, expats and adventurers share their insider travel tips on the best food, nightlife, and cultural experiences in the most interesting places around the globe. I’m your host, Sarah Mikutel, an American who's spent the last 8 years living in, and traveling around, Europe.