Bug Drama

(Roommate’s arm)

To whoever put that hex on me, Congratulations, asshole, it worked! No, I know, life can’t always be perfect.

My roommates and I tried convincing ourselves that we’d been eaten alive by killer mosquitoes. We didn’t want to believe we might have bedbugs, though it turns out we don’t—I don’t think. The situation is confusing.

My roommate in the photo above lives in a lofted room in the middle part of the apartment and she started getting bites as soon as she got here. I didn’t develop this problem until a few days ago and the doctor at school told us we had mosquito bites (though I’m not sure how closely he looked at us). We started panicking as the bites got worse and I started sleeping on my other roommate’s floor like f-ing Huckleberry Finn (actually, last night Cristina offered me her bed b/c she is just too nice). Cristina hasn’t been bitten at all and her room is slightly separated from ours.

(my fancy new bed)

Sooo…an inspector came yesterday and said the problem was termites. He didn’t see any bugs in our beds. The landlord and his son came today to spray and we have to leave the apartment for 12 hours. He keeps repeating that after they spray everything will be fine. But do termites even bite humans? Why the hell would the termites be hanging out in my bed? Don’t they like wood?  My cursory Google search pulled up pages that all said termites don’t bite humans.

Someone said to us, “At least you’ll get a story out of it.” I could’ve done without this chapter. I can’t believe I’m even sharing this disgusting information, but want your thoughts. What’s wrong with us? Do you think it could really be termites or is that a bunch of B.S.? Is it mites? Is it really the killer mosquitoes?  Yaaaaaaah! [pulling out hair]

Sarah Mikutel